Spot a hideous head of hair that you want to share?
« September 2006 | Main | March 2007 »
Not only does Penelope Cruz's face look like Fievel from An American Tail, but at this event she's kinda dressing like a 19th century Russian Mouse immigrant too. But let's focus on the hair. What is going on up there?
The frizz, the awkward sidesweep, the fluff, the curl and the fug. I hate to sound like Nina Garcia, the most inarticulate and useless judge on Project Runway, but I don't get it.
Image Source: Celebrity Snap
When did Carmen Electra turn into the drag queen version of herself? Why she decided to go darker is beyond me, it might be for a role in a straight to video flop or Lifetime movie of the week. And in that movie, she plays a boring and struggling mother of 3 who just doesn't have access to a good hair colorist. . . and her husband beats her or embezzles from a call girl ring. Or it might be that Carmen sees her 35th birthday on the horizon, and is hanging up her beach bikini and sun-kissed hair. Don't give up just yet, Carmen. Who knows how many Scary Movie sequels they'll need you for.
What suprises me is that darker hair usually makes light eyes pop. This may or may not be true for Carmen's usually fantastic green eyes. But with her second best pair of assets hiding behind yards of eyeliner, I can't really tell. But what I can tell is that a blah-blah hair color like this isn't doing this C-movie starlet any favors.
Image Source: Celebrity Snap
Hey remember Lauren Holly? Oh, you don't. Well, tell me what you think about her crop job anyway.
The best critiques will be featured in this post.
Image Source: Celebrity Snap
Is Nikki Cox okay? Sure, she's probably happy being engaged to Jay Mohr (huge step up from Bobcat Goldthwait, but really who isn't?). And she's probably quite happy on that location-titled TV show I keep seeing commercials for, but never watch because it's buried on the second best night of the week to schedule a lousy TV show.
But leaving the house with hair as bad as this has to be some sign of mental distress, right? She looks like she's been attacked by a rapid disgruntled bird. And it further proves the death of the headband. I hope she gets the follicle help that she needs. . . soon.
Image Source: Celebrity Snap!
Even my geriatric Shih Tzu with cataracts can see that this hairpiece doesn't match the color and texture of Jessica's natural hair.
Why Ken Paves (the Hair Pimp, and Will to Jessica's desperate and narcissistic Grace) would let Jessica leave the house with fake hair this obvious and mismatched is beyond me and my dog. Even though he looks like a sedated muppet, her main gay will have to discipline her harshly for this - perhaps, by inflicting some more terrible headbands on her or making her look like a deranged stepford wife yet again. Not only does Jessica look fak(er) than usual, this is a major disservice to the latest product Jessica is hawking. If someone like Jessica Simpson can't make her fake hair line look decent, what chance do the synthetic hair shoppers of the world stand? Synthetic hair shoppers of the world unite, boycott Jessica Simpson's fake hair!
Source: Hollywood Gossip Whores
My hair would flip too, if I found a pair of shoes to match that killer belt.
I hate to add to the sexist ageism in the entertainment industry (because George Clooney is distinguised and Diane Keaton is matronly), but Isabella is too old for this haircut. There is nothing wrong with growing older, and if anyone has aged damn well, it is Isabella Rossellini. But in the same way that a person reconsiders their wardrobe as they mature, they also need to make the same considerations towards their hairstyle. While this haircut would look great on a young gal like Audrey Tautou, on an older woman it just frames the feature on Isabella that has aged the worst: her eyes. Isabella is still beautiful, no matter her age. But with a better and less helmet-like haircut, she can look much younger.
Sometimes it's just not the hair, but the entire package that makes someone look they are having a bad hair day. Look at Jessica Simpson and her bedraggled headband, lobotomized TRL disaster and it definitely proves my point.
The hair is the least of her problems. Hair can be washed out, tinted to a human color, or at the very least have a cheap mass-produced synthetic wiglet thrown in to promote her wig line. It's the demented, dead inside, but at least the Botox is still working look in her eyes that worries me.
Deep inside Jessica's hollow head she is chanting: Buy my fake hair and fake music, bitches. Or I will track down and skin your dogs for my shoddy handbag line.
Everything about Jessica Simpson is for sale - her fake hair, her fugly jeans, and outdated cowboy boot collection. It might be time to take a break, Jess, if you haven't noticed the Billboard charts - no one is buying you anymore.
Image Source: Faded Youth
Redken Guts Volume Spray Foam
Paul Mitchell Spray Wax
Redken Extreme CAT protein treatment
