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So, is Bryce Dallas Howard's dad Ron Howard or Ronald McDonald?
It's a shame nepotism only gets you gigs in lousy M. Night Shyamalan movies, and not a decent hair colorist. I was one of the poor idiots who paid good money to see The Village. I can almost believe her blind crapass acting skills, but is this pudgy elf-faced fug hot enough for Joaquin, I think not.
No, I don't consider this a bad hair day for Beyonce. This soon-to-be-released CD cover hair may be super-fake and over the top, but this hair goes under costume hair. Costume hair is not for everyday life and even though it's dauntingly extravagant, if done right it can be fabulous. Think Cher, and Dolly Parton - skilled artisans create these wigs, highly trained hairdressers style them, and divas rock them.
Beyonce usually has great hair - because she buys it and glues it to her scalp. There have been some recent exceptions to her good hair spree (See Case 1, and Case 2). But I look forward to Beyonce hair because it is always changing, and it is always interesting. I hope Beyonce continues to rock her big, fake, ridiculous but never boring hair. After all, some poor Eastern European girl had to shave her head to feed her family in order for Beyonce to get that hair, it might as well be beautiful.
With so many starlets sporting fake and overcolored hair - it is a great to see a fantastic angled bob that is impeccably styled. Jessica Biel has a great haircut with flattering lowlights in the layers underneath, and the layers in front make her square-shaped face look much more feminine.
To be honest, until now I felt cruelly indifferent to Jessica Biel. Being on a lousy family-value propoganda show, and then being stupid enough to piss off the late Aaron Spelling rubbed me the wrong way. But what a difference a great hairdo can make! I now look at Jessica Biel in a whole new light.
Disheveled, sad, and little dirty. Not only does that describe Katie's hair, but also her creepy relationship with Tom Cruise. And in both, Katie is doing her best to painfully smile through it.
I would call this Mom Hair - but Suri Cruise doesn't really exist. The publicity-bundle of joy (that still couldn't put MI3 in the black) must have fallen out of escrow and Tom Cruise is frantically searching Craigslist for another. Either that, or the baby is seriously deformed because of the large doses of Vitamin A that the Church Of Scientology forces its new believers/meal tickets to take during the "Purification Rundown."
I know deep down in there, Katie Holmes' great hair still exists. I know it isn't against the rules of Scientology to have great hair because Kirstie Alley and Kelly Preston have great hair, and John Travolta has great toupees. Split ends bring bad thetans, Katie. My reactive mind simply cannot audit this charge of bad hair.
If you read any other celebrity blog, you have seen this grotesque and odd barefoot display by Keira Knightley. For the sake of eating lunch, I will ignore the black-bottomed feet and just talk about the hair. Keira Knightley always has bad hair - flat, limp, unflattering. Her hair looks anorexic even though she denies that her body is. I've called attention to this bad hair at the Oscars, and I even discussed her terrifying eyebrows on the cover of InStyle. Unless she is sporting a great wavy wig like in Pirates of the Caribbean, Keira just can't get her hair right.
Here she is at the premiere of Pirates of the Caribbean, the biggest movie of her otherwise unimpressive career. There is so much about this hairstyle that I just can't fathom. First of all, the weird orange blonde color looks like color correction gone wrong. And she has been wearing this same sad hair color for months, and we can always see her ashy roots. And why so much product, why so much scrunched up texture? Why the dark, thick, contrasting eyebrows? Why is she posing like this look is sexy, when her hair looks like a homeless person dragged off the street and given a makeover by a mediocre beauty school student?
Why, Keira, why? There are very few hairstyles that won't look good on Keira's striking features. Why does she always manage to find the ones that look terrible?
Why is that some women cling to blonde for so long? Not only does their hair look like crap, but it's beyond boring. Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, and Gwen Stefani - we know you love your esteemed blonde status - but these blondes only look good when they are airbrushed. As you can see from this paparazzi shot, in real life, Gwen's orangy bleached out hair looks like rotten Cotton candy.
I will never understand starlets and their addiction to platinum blonde. Sure, "platinum blonde" looked great in the black and white film era, but that was because without color we couldn't see the actual and ugly orange tones to the hair.
So unless you can convince your photo-stalkers to use black and white film, please Gwen: Get another damn hair color. Take a tip from Madonna (who also lacks vocal ability and makes crapass music but still manages to be culturally relevant), and change your hair color every once in a while. That way you can keep people from realizing that you keep making the same bad music and fashion choices over and over again.
Technorati Tags: Gwen Stefani, No Doubt, Platinum Blonde, Bad Hair, Talentless Bleachmonkey
Look, I've kept quiet about this as long as I possibly could. I realize Ms. Minogue has had more important things to worry about than her hair, you know, like surviving cancer and all that. But I'm sorry, this look still reeks of cancer, even though she has been cured.
Chemotherapy drugs target cells that multiply quickly. That is why this treatment is so effective in treating cancer, but it also kills hair follicle cells. There is no way to predict whether or not chemotherapy will make your hair fall out and no hairloss treatment like Rogaine will stop the hair loss. It takes 6-8 weeks after treatment end for the hair to start growing back.
If you decided to skip the previous paragraph, I can summarize: cancer is a bitch, and losing your hair just makes it worse.
I've seen Kylie with this terrible post-treatment hair for a while now and it hurt my soul, but I let it go. But it has gone on for too long now, and I'm really wondering why the hell she hasn't invested in some great wigs? The weird texture and bleached color is so Annie-Lennox-ugly (minus the vocal talent), does she want to look like a cancer patient permanently? No one ever goes back to normal after a life-threatening illness - but with some artificial help, at least her hair can.
So there, I said it - call me insensitive, but I just hate bad hair.
Technorati Tags: Kylie Minogue, Cancer, Hairloss
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Image Source: GoldenFiddle
Okay, the Czar's gonna let you in on a secret - I don't grow armpit hair. That is my personal disclaimer that I don't know much about the upkeep of armpit hair. What I do know is that you absolutely must upkeep the hair on your armpits. Shave, wax, nair - anything. If you wear a tank top or cap sleep top - make sure they you don't have anything going on there. And if you do, please don't lick it. I've posted this unfortunate photo of Michelle Rodriquez to illustrate this point. And if you want some more armpit hair horror check out: this and this.
Technorati Tags: Michelle Rodriquez, Celebrity Armpit Hair
Alright, looking at these ladies, only 2 out of the 6 gals have bad hair. But if you look closeup at one of the bad hair victims, it is absolutely terrifying. 
I don't see a wigline, so this is her real crayola colored hair. And the flimsy headband that pulls her hair back to showcase her tranny face just adds to the horror.
What bothers me most about this is that red hair can be so multi-dimensional and vibrant. This just looks like Barbie doll hair dipped in red shoe polish.
Technorati Tags: Pussycat Dolls, Red Hair
If I thought Kate Bosworth's orange rooted, bleached disaster at the Superman premiere was bad, then I was nowhere near prepared for the bad hair she sported in the Superman movie. This Lois Lane hair (as worn by Bad Hair ingenue Kate Bosworth) is so frail, wispy, and disappointing. Since the hair is a wig, I can't understand why they didn't design a hairdo more bold, more dynamic - more like the smart, independent bitch that Lois Lane is. Instead, we get a weird, wavy, thin mess that only draws attention to how stupid, weird, wavy, and thin the casting choice they made with Bosworth was.
I will not go see the Superman movie, and it's not just because everyone they casted (except Kevin Spacey) is as dull as an autistic rock - but it's because the hair I've seen so far in the promo stills is damn bad hair. From Clark Kent's floppy Jason Schwartzman-esque rentboy look, to Superman's shellacked forehead curl - I think the only hair they got right was Lex Luthor's baldass shiny head. The Superman Curl is supposed to fall naturally, and effortlessly like an afterthought to Superman's perfect hair - the way they have that bugger glued into place in the middle of Brandon Routh's bland face is impossible for me to look at even momentarily for the purpose of this post. Superman really needs a new hairstylist, and a new Lois Lane.
Technorati Tags: Superman, Kate Bosworth, Lois Lane
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