Rachel Zoe (formerly Rachel Zoe Rosenzweig), you have Bad Hair and Bad Fashion. And not only do you subject the world to your hideous taste by your own appearance, but by the young starlet clones you dress from your very own tragic closet. And the hair. . . oh the hair is straight up sad.
First of all, most of the hair is probably hers - because who would pay for lousy extensions like that? As you can see, the hair is super-stringy (like she is) and its long length just weighs the hair down and makes it look even thinner. The color is dingy and too close to her dinghy skin color. And the bangs which I suppose are meant to cover up the deep lines in her forehead, just draw more attention to them.
I had to include a picture of Zoe with Nicole Ritchie just to prove to others and myself, that Rachel Zoe is not a 55 year old Nicole Ritchie who traveled back in time to warn the young Nicole that starving yourself gets uglier as you age. According to the rules from Back to the Future, these two wouldn't be allowed to be in the same room without something cataclysmic happening. As you can see, the only thing cataclysmic is the hair - which is curled within an inch of its life, but still looks flat and fugly. And if that weren't bad enough, we have to see Rachel's Zoe's 55 year old sternum.
Surprisingly, Rachel Zoe claims to be only 33, but the creepy wrinkles on her lips when she talks (that anyone who watched her guest judge on America's Next Top Model saw and were repulsed by) say otherwise. Maybe the Diet Coke/Cocaine/Cigarette diet she passed on to LiLo and Nicole "Alienface" Ritchie, caught up with her. But it's much more likely that she is a good 10-15 years older. And her hairstyle is 10-15 years past its prime. No wonder the stupid starlets who pay her $6000 a day to "style" them have such terrible hair. It can all be traced back to Rachel Zoe, the Grandma Stylist to the Stars.
Don't even get me started on this girl. Her hair is the least of her problems, I say put the coke down and STOP vomiting. That's actually why her hair sucks so much because her diet is so poor and the only thing she does ingest is coke, the diet kind and the kind that's a celebrity "diet". I dislike her form of "fashion" and everything she stands for. STUPID STUPID GIRL! ~sigh~
Now I'm tired.
You know I could use help finding a good stylist. LOL where do you live and know anyone in southern California, that is open to the general public?
Posted by: Virenda | March 18, 2006 at 08:58 PM
Have you seen K-fed's new do? It's amazing; and Britney's is really bad.
Posted by: Amanda | March 20, 2006 at 12:51 PM
who ever wrote this is probably fashionLESS and fat! why are you so bitter at rachel zoe..YOU FAT COW! it's ridiculious..she is an awesome stylist and if you would stopo shopping at walmart and goodwill you might know! ..now the next time you feel like making fun of a successful, beautiful, thin stylist...look in the mirror..and try to figure out your deep rooted problem..get a life bitch
Posted by: get a life | March 31, 2006 at 09:48 AM
The above comment came from IP address: 207.200.116.11
Netscape Communications Corp.
Mountain View, California
Everyone knows that Mountain View is the fashion capital of the world! If anyone knows about fat people and Wal-mart it has to be someone who lives in Mountain View. So I respect this person's opinion a great deal!
Oh yeah, and this genius still uses AOL. So you know they're over 50.
Posted by: Bad Hair Czar | March 31, 2006 at 11:15 AM
YOU ARE ALL SOOOOOOO LAME.
RACHEL ZOE CREATED THE BEST STYLE IN THE WORLD,AND HAS EVERYONE IN LA ON HER SPEEDIAL, DRESSING LIKE HER.SORRY SHE DOESN'T SHOP AT TARGET AND HAD FAT THIGHS AND BELLY FAT LIKE OTHER PEOPLE WE NO. SHE BROUGHT BACK THE GLAMOUR DAYS OF HARD PARTYING WITH FLAT CHESTED WOMEN EMBRACING BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES,AND NOT SHOWING IT ALL OF WITH SURGICALLY ENHANCED BREASTS. WE LOVE YOU RACHEL,KEEP UP THE EXCELLENT WORK!
Posted by: lindsay | April 02, 2006 at 06:38 PM
The above comment came from:
IP Address: 69.235.247.# (rback30d.irvnca)
ISP: Pac Bell Internet Services
Irvine, California.
So I guess it's safe to say that Rachel Zoe's mom lives in an Irvine Leisure World. And since Orange County residents are experts on boob jobs and Target, I respect this person's opinion a great deal.
Children, please remember this the *internet* - and you can't see people (or their thighs). Instead of a generic/retarded insult, why don't you try logic or intellect to explain why you disagree? Typing in ALL CAPS and insulting the appearance/shopping habits of people you don't know further proves your ignorance.
And honestly, shouldn't stylists dress their clients *differently* instead of all the same? If a hairdresser sent everyone out the door with the same 'do - they'd be labeled one-note and lousy. But not your supreme goddess, Rachel Zoe? Get some sense before you ever post here again, bitch.
Posted by: Bad Hair Czar | April 02, 2006 at 06:48 PM
Bad Hair Czar just won me over.
Posted by: brandy alexander | April 12, 2006 at 12:42 PM
Wow you guys seriously need to chill out..you are just mad b/c rachel zoe has some sence of style..yea and the reason why all of her clients dress 'the same' is because thats whats in style..being a stylist means that what you dress your clinets in will make the mags. each week, and will keep the trends up and premote the clothing that they are wearing..sooo oviously you guys no nothing about the fashion world..sorry to break it to you
Posted by: Fay | July 08, 2006 at 07:51 AM
Why would anyone be jealous of that haggard woman? As far as fashion goes, I'm not a big fan of it, but to each his own- I prefer soemthing more feminine and elegant. Speaking of feminine- I hardly envy Rachel Zoe's figure. I'd rather look like a woman. You know those things women are supposed to have- hips, breasts, thighs, butts? Rachel Zoe is lacking all of them, so I can hardly envy her that.
Posted by: Sherri | August 11, 2006 at 10:13 PM
Oh, I meant "As far as HER fashion goes", not "As far as fashion goes"
Posted by: Sherri | August 11, 2006 at 10:15 PM
I think that if you need to be nasty about someone that these people are touching on either your insecurites (get that checked out if so) and If not, and you really dislike the person because they get under your skin(and sometimes that happens too) then look at slagging someone who is notoriously un-classy and makes the effort to be so ie: Paris Hilton. Even in Dior or Chloe even valentino, she still looks like mutton dressed up as lamb. I admire Nicole Ritchie for trying to make a concerted effort towards her personal appearance especially from the first season of the simple life(not the finest). And in regards to Zoe - Who cares!! She's out there and doing something. Shes on her own journey trying to hold it all together like the rest of us. Maybe we're a little more accepting in Australia.
Posted by: downunder | August 24, 2006 at 10:44 PM
and something else for thought. If they are both dressed so badly, why is it that Nicole has landed the Jimmy Choo campaign because of her dress sense, and constantly referred to for her sense of style in a plethora of magazines. Someones doing something right somewhere....maybe it's her stylist? Maybe it's nicole for hiring a stylist?
Posted by: downunder | August 24, 2006 at 10:51 PM
YOU GUYS SUCK. I BET YOU DONT EVEN COME CLOSE TO DRESSING AS WELL AS RACHEL ZOE DOES. YOUR STUPID AND IGNORANT TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE IT BETTER THAN YOU DO. JESUS, TRY PICKING ON SOMEONE WHO DESERVES IT, NOT RACHEL ZOE.
Posted by: your stupid | September 24, 2006 at 12:34 PM
No, *YOU'RE* stupid. Nice lesson on ignorance, pal.
Posted by: Bad Hair Czar | September 24, 2006 at 02:09 PM
Rachel is not 55 and that is her hair, I know because, I was her colorist when she was going to Prive N.Y...we share the same name..Zoe..What is it with people talking sh-t about everyone else? Worry about yourself and the world YOU live in.
Posted by: Zoe Cortez-Staricco | November 01, 2006 at 08:40 PM
"What is it with people talking sh-t about everyone else?"
because its fun and entertaining. you clearly read it. so there we go.
as for the rachel zoe fans. good on ya. just like you too have an opinion..so does the author of this blog. they are entitled.
personally, i found this to be a funny and pretty damn accurate blog that i laughed at and agreed with. as well, i love the IP addresses for those who were a tad rude. good on ya.
Posted by: Kathy | November 21, 2006 at 08:20 PM
Wow wat a laugh :-)The IP addresses r fantastic!!Good job.I googled Rachel Zoe curious of what young hollywood find appealing in her style n i must say i was very disappointed..Why is the world looking up to a $6000 a day meth addict stylist?The 1970's rock/glam era is gone.Let's all move forward n wear outfits that r created with our own common sense
Posted by: Natalie | November 22, 2006 at 05:09 AM
WHO THE HELL WROTE THAT SOME DUMB PART OF CALIFORNIA IS THE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD!!!!!STUPID.. EUROPEANS HAVE THE BEST STYLE, AND THE FASHION CAPITAL OF THE WORLD IS MILAN....ANY AIRHEAD WOULD KNOW THAT BUT YOU MUST BLOND... AND WHO THE HELL IS RACHEL ZOE..SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE COULD BE MY GRANDMOM HA HA HA... SORRY BUT ITS TRUE...
AND FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO TEST ME AND MY LOOKS GOT TO BE CRAAAAZZZYY..... COME AND VISIT ME IN IBIZA BITCH, I'LL BE THERE AFTER I'M DONE MY MODELLING IN MADRID... AMERICANS.... HA TEST THIS BITCH.... I DARE YOU TO TRY...
Posted by: MANDYLEE | November 23, 2006 at 11:17 AM
Is it really true that Rachel Zoe claims to be 33? I've read that as well--there isn't really a way in hell she is 33 is there. And Nicole's hair is not bad at all, I'd like to see the hair of whoever wrote this article, this kind of bitter resentment calls out for personal judgment.
Posted by: Ledille | December 01, 2006 at 04:53 PM
My God! You lot are complete idiots typing and arguing about Rachel Zoe. She obviously pisses you off because she looks good and is extremely successful. Why are you so bothered about her diet habits? Shes a stylist for Gods sake. I was recently in America and youre all a bunch of ugly, celebrity obsessed, ignorant idiots sitting in front of your computers stuffing your face with Cheetos frustrated because you dont look like her. Spend less time talking about Rachel Zoe and more time educating your pathetic excuse for a country. God bless America! lol
Posted by: ana jones | December 30, 2006 at 10:15 AM
I don't like her because her personal sense of style is sooo boring and the fact that we have to stand witness to these "young fashion icons" that she dresses. They all look the same!!! I dislike these starlets' fashion sense simply because they lack or even don't have any yet they get credited for being fashionable or crap like that. They need the help of a STYLIST, not a relatively good one at that, even when they're just walking on the street! PATHETIC! Atleast this is my opinion, hehe. And her hair... Kind of weird in my opinion. And she is really thin and that wasn't a compliment
Posted by: sasha | April 02, 2007 at 01:00 AM
My god, if Rachel Zoe is 35 (apparently she was born in 1971) then I will eat Nicole Richie. She might have great taste in clothing but she looks like shit. I don't care how thin she is, she looks freakin terrible. Nicole is too thin, but she is young and beautiful and she has time to get well again. Rachel Zoe has a lot to answer for.
Posted by: rebecca | May 03, 2007 at 01:52 AM
i think rachel zoe is an ugly crack faced whore. thats all.
Posted by: natalie | January 30, 2008 at 07:41 PM
THANK YOU!! I am so tired of these dog faced people calling themselves "stylists". If you can't even style yourself, why the hell should you be working for ME??
Posted by: Capricorn12 | April 17, 2008 at 02:50 PM
why are you all attacking each other? that's what 12 year olds do. What anyone chooses for their lifetyle, is not anyone else's place to judge. You all need to look in the mirror, before attacking anyone else. Growing up, I think its called. I feel bad for people with addictions/substance abuse problems, and I feel bad that our society is so shallow, that women are compelled to starve themselves or get ripped apart by their public. They starve themselves and get ripped apart anyway?
Posted by: hoppygolucky | September 17, 2008 at 07:31 PM