Bad Hair Day

Britney Spears: Stained For Life

Britney Spears will stand next to anything to get it for free. It's too bad she didn't stand next to a good set of extensions or a decent colorist.  It's as picked up the walking corpse of straggly extension inkwell victim Lindsay Lohan and exclaimed - I WANT THIS!

There have been some internet theories about what that stain is.  Did she change Sean Preston's diaper in the middle of the store and neglect to wipe the baby grease off her hands?  And her fondness for dress grabbing/lifting has been documented (you must join ONTD in order to see that link, sorry, but it's too fantastic to leave behind).  So that explanation seems likely, however, I actually think it's from a group of hair protesters who threw some highlight color at her and missed.

Initially, I was on the fence about Britney's new dark color - but that was when it was paired with shorter hair that Britney can actually maintain.  This weak, long Morticia look needs to go, Brit.  Wash your dress and wash it out.

Britney Spears: You Did This To Her!

IMDB.com reports that Britney's terrible black dyejob is actually a desperate attempt to help her image. Apparently, little Miss Britney thought it would be a clever, and chaotically "real" (airquotes!) for her to do her own hair and makeup for the Dateline interview debacle seen by millions of people. After hearing the milllion different articulations of "rats nest" to describe her hair, she decided to take out her extensions and bought a bottle of black dye. Yes, she DYED IT HERSELF! Touching up roots, or covering up gray can be easily accomplished with home hair dye, but making such a drastic color change requires a professional colorist.

"Spears' representative insists the singer checked with her doctor first to see if dying her hair was safe for her unborn child adding, "It's vegetable dye and will wash right out."  Oh man, Britney, vegetable dye my ass! Just because you're shaped like an eggplant, doesn't mean I'll believe you use vegetable dye. When she continued to color and bleach her hair during the Preston pregnancy, and during the beginning of this one, she was not using vegetable dye. She was using ammonia and bleach. Sure there is no conclusive evidence between hair dye and birth defects, but Britney knows that people love to jump all over her for being a bad mother. She'll lie, dye, and cry all she can for people to love her again. And with her new bad hair (which won't just "wash out", she will have to strip the color out) is not going to help.

How about not going on television and various magazine covers and asking people to leave you alone, Britney? How about just going away and letting the fickle nature of pop culture wash you away from our lives forever?

Technorati Tags: Britney Spears, Hair Dye, Circling the Drain

Britney Spears Dyed Her Hair Black!?

BREAKING HAIR NEWS: Move over Angelina, there is a new raven-haired baby-toting momma in Hollywood (so you better stay in Namibia, bitch and keep your hands off K-Fed).

This is a very drastic change for Britney - and I would have preferred that she just gradually go darker with more lowlights over time, versus dyeing over her bleach rot hair.  Bleached hair is very porous and it soaks up color quite well, but it doesn't hold it.  We'll see how long this color lasts on her, because we all know she has no idea how to take care of her hair (cause she's country, y'all).  At least the extensions are out, and the hair is too short to pull up into a Britney Bun.

Technorati Tags: Britney Spears, Black Hair, Bad Hair, Hair Dye, Hair Color

Britney Spears: Curler Chic

It's a good thing Sean Preston is too young to know shame, because I would have been mortified to be seen with my mother in curlers.

Britney is doing three things right here: 1) Baby has a hat to protect its precious scalp from the sun. 2) Holding baby with two hands. Let's hope the bodyguard is carrying her drink.  3) Setting your hair in curlers and letting it set for a period of time creates a longer lasting hairstyle.

But being seen in curlers is just tacky and trailer parkesque.  Look, I know everyone sets their hair from time to time, and Britney has the unfair predicament of ALWAYS being photographed.  But if you put your hair in a silk scarf, that will reduce frizz and cover up the curlers. Besides, it's the perfect opportunity to don a gorgeous piece like this Emilio Pucci Riflessi Silk Twill Scarf.

Technorati Tags: Britney Spears, Hair, Curlers, Sean Preston Spears

Photo Source: X-Britney.com

Britney Spears: What is wrong with you?

So you almost dropped your baby. . . and by the looks of your hair, you just can't get anything right.

Only a couple weeks ago, Britney was rocking a short cute bob, but then she went back to the long extensions that she can't take care of. 

The Britney Bun (patent pending), is probably the worst celebrity hairstyle of all.time  Nothing says "I give up" like a tangled, frazzled mess of hair pulled up at the top of your head.  Like carrying a baby, styling your hair should require two hands.  So please, Britney, ditch the bad bun.

Britney Spears: Find a new hairstylist STAT!

Britney Spears and other similiar ladies who are paying a hairstylist hundreds of dollars to make your hair look like crap: pick up what's left of your hair and life and go to different stylist already.  It would take me 10 seconds of looking at this particular stylist's hair to realize that they do not know how to style and take care of hair so it doesn't look like crap.

So why exactly are they teasing and hairspraying her hair within an inch of its life to get a sleek and straight hairstyle like this?

Well, simply put - they don't know what they are doing. Does all that hairspray and teasing really give the hair that much extra volume or style? No. Is it ruining her hair so that shortly it will look like the straggly frizz the stylist is sporting?  Yes. 

Please go somewhere else, Britney - hair that is worn short and straight does not require that much product.  Apply a small amount of volumizing mousse to the root when hair is damp, bend over and blowdry the hair upside down with a round brush for about 5-10 minutes and you're done!  No teasing, no hairspray, no overwhelming amount of product that will make your hair look oily or crispy. 

Picture Credit: BritneySpears.nu

Britney Spears: Feels like Crap, Looks Like Crap

Poor Britney- the look in her eyes just screams:

             "I don't know what to do."

She's given up on her hair and her skin.  And with the internet rumors that Kevin Federline snorts at her like a pig whenever she eats, I hope she gives up on her marriage too.

Either the hair is dirty or she is using too much product.  I don't think she should be wearing her hair that short, because of her tree trunk neck.  But should she put her stripper extensions back in?  I don't know.  Sadly, I've given up on Britney as well.

More Bad Britney Hair

Congrats Britney Spears, you washed your hair!  But it still looks like crap.  Her shaggy bob has too much texture - unless you're committed to blowing out and curling this complicated of a hairdo you shouldn't get it.  It looks as if she is still wearing some sort of hair extensions to make it look more full in the back.  And we all know that Britney doesn't take care of her extensions, so they need to come out.

Brit needs Wash and Wear Hair - which is a must for new mothers (and relatively new sugar mommas).  That means she should stick to a simple bob with some fringe in the front to distract from how wide apart her eyes are.

We'll just have to see what she does next - because she hasn't had decent hair since the pre-Federline era.

Britney Spears can't buy a bra or good dyejob

Okay, Brit - I'm gonna ignore the lack of a bra in the company of your parents. But you know your hair is bad, when your non-famous mother is rocking cleaner, nicer hair than you are.  I actually really like Momma Spears hair in this shot - it has fun texture and is appropriate for her age.

There are few steps you can take to improve that hideous hairstyle you have on your head.

1) Wash it. 

2) Stop using so much product - it just leaves your hair looking Crispy. Short hair is easily overwhelmed by product, and you must use sparingly.

3) Either be more on top of your roots, or add in some lowlights that are closer to your natural haircolor. Far too many women go for an all over light color - when they can just get a good percentage of their hair highlighted.  It grows out more naturally, you'll save money on touch ups, and it will look so much more multi-dimensional and healthy!