Welcome to the Bad Hair Day Blog - and as the Bad Hair Czar I will be merciless in pointing out the Hair DON'Ts Celebrities commit, as well as offer helpful tips about how to avoid your own Bad Hair Day!
Spot a hideous head of hair that you want to share?
I might just have to take back everything I said about Ken Paves and his lousy Jessica Simpon fake hair line. Eva Longoria is looking fantastic! The deep shade of brown is striking against her skintone. And the volume and shape of her hairstyle plays down her insect features.
Look before I address the hair, let's address the flawed concept behind a Gwen Stefani theme show. While Gwen-themed bad hair was inevitable, I didn't know it would be this delightfully bad. What I'm really wondering is why Sanjaya would sing a Gwen Stefani song in an alleged "singing" competition. While most of the other contestants took advance of the opportunity to sing actual songs from artists that inspired Gwen Stefani (but apparently, not enough), Sanjaya digs up an old ditty from No Doubt. Well, at least he didn't sing "Hollaback Girl."
But on to the hair, rarely does this Czar encouter bad hair that's so ridiculous, that it's absolutely fantastic. Little Sanjaya could never pull off a real Mohawk, and heaven forbid he shave off some of those gorgeous Hooters-quality locks. But this glammed up, teased up, ponied up faux-hawk is perfect for him. It's all fluff and hairspray. And when he takes his hair down at the end of the day, he can easily go back to his Farrah Fawcett pre-cancer look. The whole look was so tongue in cheek ludicrous, that Sanjaya must have figured out that if he's gonna be the running joke of this competition, he might as well run with it. And I salute that!
I vote for Sanjaya, not because he's the worst, but because he's the most interesting. The favored Melinda Doowhatever and that Lakinda boring girl just don't make the show interesting. If Sanji is willing to bring a follicle trainwreck to the stage every week, then by all means I am willing to vote for him.
Well, it's been quite a while hasn't it? I don't know what happened - it seems like just yesterday I was bitching and moaning about Britney's bad hair. Perhaps I should follow her shorning example and start all over again on this blog.
Critique on Britney's developing hairline is sure to follow, but for now I'm gonna start with the easy, tried and true hairstyle to bitch about - the matronly bun that J.Lo inexplicably manages to add a zombie twist to. Maybe it's because Jennifer Lopez can't get herself knocked up by her Skeletor excuse of a man and she's trying to address her motherly issues anywhere, but the top of her head shouldn't be where she takes it. She's a beautiful woman behind that racoon eye makeup and librarian bun. Maybe she should let down her hair, and ditch her action figure sized husband. But until then, I'm happy she provided the perfect example for why I should still be bitching about celebrity hair.