Spot a hideous head of hair that you want to share?
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Is Robin Williams dyeing his hair ruby red for his latest role in the upcoming action film Ronald McDonald vs. The Burger King: This time it's deep-fried and personal ?
Or is he just an old dude with graying hair, who has a bad colorist? It's a good thing he is contractually obligated to do voice-over work in every single animated film, it keeps us from having to look at him.
I had no idea Ashlee was taller than Jessica. Somehow, in this picture - Jessica looks like the floppy, insecure little sister and Ashlee looks like the confident fashionista.
Maybe it's because Ashlee has yet to experience a highly publicized/pimped marriage crash and burn, or promote a line of embarrashingly cheap bedazzled jeans. Or maybe, it's the hair.
Ashlee is sporting a subtle, flowing wave that somehow manages to look cascading and polished. Jessica just has an out of control, fluffy, fringed disaster that she appears to be sheepishly hiding behind. Could that be why their sister roles appear to be reversed? Or maybe, it's just a great pair of heels.
The fact that Hulk Hogan's family is sporting the bleach rot yellow blonde that the Hulkster sported in the EIGHTIES disturbs me. They do realize that natural hair has highlights and lowlights - and does not have the texture of coarse straw.
Perhaps when they are done emulating the Osbournes (who all have better hair), and pimping out their daughter (who even makes Kelly Osbourne look talented), they can head on over the salon for a massive color correction: Family Style. That is the only episode of Hogan Knows Best that I will ever watch.
Oh Ace, if only your voice was as pretty as you are. But it's not - and now you're out of the running on American Idol. Where did you go wrong? Well, it wasn't song choice - love songs really get the 12 year old girl in me (and every other idle Idol-watcher) dialing to vote.
Was it the hair, slicked back into an oily, matronly bun-like ponytail? It sure as hell didn't help. We will miss you, Ace. And please know that you are better than the Daniel Powter "Bad Day"
Since my sentimental favorite is now gone, I can now objectively rate the following contestants based purely on their hair. Here is my official prediction for the final six eliminations for American Idol:
1. Taylor Hicks (winner)- His hair is unique and fantastically tousled. I am very happy that he didn't decide to dye over the gray.
2. Kellie Pickler - I hate the flat straw color, but I love the fringe layers in front.
3. Katherine McPhee - Great hair, but pretty boring. The same can be said about her singing ability.
4. Paris Bennett - It's fake and ugly. I feel more sorry for people who have tragic hair growing out of their skull, than the people who choose to buy ugly hair.
5. Elliot Yamin - I earlier summarized his blunt Caesar cut was that of a pedophile trucker. I stand by that.
6. Chris Daughtry - This bitch is bald.
I hate having to disagree with myself, but yesterday when I said "less is more," it doesn't mean you can just go to a major event with straggly, boring hair.
Because of Sarah Jessica Parker's naturally curly hair - this super straight style probably took a good amount of time. But WHY? It looks like crap. When you have a long nose and long face (which many anti-SJPers might call equine), a long, one-length hairstyle like this just elongates the face. And a boring style like this just draws attention to her aging face. We can't all be 25 forever, but a great hairstyle can make you look 10 years younger - and this ain't it.
And the color? I've given up on SJP's color ever since she started doing those terrible Garnier home color commericals. While this style has highlights and lowlights (which you will never ever get from box all over color), it's so dark and uninteresting that it ages her even more.
I love you SJP, please go back to sun-kissed curly hair!
Oh Fergie, only you would request to look like an I Dream of Jeanie Barbie Doll that's been put in the microwave for 10 seconds.
I don't know what's worse. Those terrible clip on bangs, the gaudy ponytail accessory, or the ponytail peppered with scrunchies throughout.
Remember, when it comes to hair: Less is more. Cramming too much crap into the same style looks as tired and fugly as Fergie does here, and every single day of her life.
Yes, I was vehemently against the 3 foot terrible extensions that Jessica was sporting for these past couple months. But this isn't any better.
Sadly, Jessica Simpson is starting her own line of extensions with her hair stylist/BFF Ken Paves. While I did love the line he created with Hair-U-Wear, I must urge you all: DO NOT BUY JESSICA SIMPSON EXTENSIONS.
Why? Because you're supporting ridiculously tragic hair like this. And if her line has headband falls that are this shoddy looking, you are better off being bald.
Should Christina Milian really be so proud of these extensions (or is she just proud of her ass,I can't quite figure it out)? No.
The color is quite flattering, but the length is just overkill. And the fried ends are inexcusable. If you're going to buy your hair, make sure it isn't falling apart. And perhaps, go for something believable.
Yes, I realize Liv Tyler has a perfectly normal hairline. Many people have short, fine hairs that dust their forehead. However, I just don't like looking at it because it makes a beautiful woman appear to be balding.
Short layers in front (that don't get pulled back into a ponytail) can be used to disguise this kind of hairline. You can also use a light styling cream like Sebastian Shaper, Smoothing Groomer to slick back the baby hairs.
Gentlemen, the best way to start a hideous wave of rumors that you are sporting a hairpiece is by styling your hair like this.
Wait, you mean you didn't want people to think that you're balding, Harry? Then brush your hair back, because it looks like you are trying to hide a receding hairline. Either that, or your hairpiece isn't staying in place is slowly sliding away.
And your wife's hair is pretty bad too. But at least we know it's real.
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